Tips on How to Seduce Women

Now, this is the "Part II" of the storytelling newsletter.

Just a recap in “Part I” we have talked about why a storytelling is important and how it can improve your game dramatically.

I know you are all excited to start using storytelling and understand why it is so powerful we are going to work on constructing your very own epics!

In “Part I” there were two things I asked of you. The first one was to create a list of 7-10 moments in your life worth sharing, and second was to write down 5 things about your identity that you want people to know about you.

We are going to start out working with these things.

First lets take out the 7-10 story. What you will do know is to select 5 solid ideas, eliminating those that you think may not seem to interesting to other people or ones that were "you kind of had to be there" stories.

Now that you got 5 solid ideas, reflect on these stories, which ones do you have the most emotional connection to you, which ones do you feel the most interested in sharing with other people and which ones do you think could captivate and relate to your audience. Then after that we are going to just focus on constructing 3 solid stories so you can go out and start using them immediately.

And of course I'm sure there were still some of you out there that listed less than 10 ideas or maybe around three, so I guess that makes your job easier.

For now, your main target with these stories are women, so focus on which ones you think a woman is more interested in hearing. (Any women can become interested in any story if delivered properly, but if you have a good story about you watching dirty videos and eating pizza, it may be better left for the guys)

Also don't hesitate to ask your friends about which story topics they fine more interesting to hear, to help narrow it down to 3 solid concepts.

As said before I will be doing this exercise along with you, however, critiquing all 3 of my stories will take too long so we are just going to use one of my story concepts and build it from the ground up through the techniques I show you.

I am going to try to discard all the information on storytelling that I know and jot this story down from scratch (This actually happened to me, so I figure this is a prime example)

"So the other day I am at club voodoo with my friends and as I am having a good time roaming around and making some new friends there's one guy somehow works his way into my group but then ends up not leaving us alone all night. And he was a really annoying person that you just don't want to talk to. He kept making every interaction in the club awkward and would not leave until he actually gets a hint and goes home."

Okay, pretty annoying story...I know, but we can turn this into something awesome.

First we need to understand the 3 components of a good story.

The first component, is "The Hook Question"

The object of the hook question is to make sure everyone in the group you are telling the story gets involved.

Hook question is use to captivate the group and it is the line you deliver to introduce your story.

Before you start using hook question in your story make sure that the attention of EVERYONE in the group is in you. If one person is not paying attention and they tune in halfway through your story, they are going to have no idea what is going and potentially pull the entire group away.

Make an eye contact and get a response or at least a nod from every member of the group before beginning your story.

There are two different types of hook questions.

---> An open ended hook question;  and
---> A yes or no hook question.

I feel open ended hook question are better because it gets your audience more involved with the story you are about to tell, but a yes or no one is good cause it gets you right into the story.

So a possible open ended hook question for my story would be "How do you deal with people who you just want to leave you alone?"

A possible yes or no hook question would be "Have you ever been to club voodoo?"

So let's add this to the story... (Find a hook question for your example stories as well)

For my story, I will be using the open ended hook questions and it goes like this:

Me: "Hey guys...how do you deal with people when you just can't get them to leave you alone?!"

Group: "blah blah"

Me: "Yeah that's interesting so check this out...the other day I am at club voodoo...(rest of story)

Next component is to demonstrate personality.

There are a number of ways of doing this but for now lets go to our list of 5 things that you want to convey in your identity. Try to fit as many into the story as you can.

My 5 things were:
 - I am a musician
 - I am a very social person
 - I have a high and fun energy
 - I have a good sense of humor
 - I am interested in video and photography

You may want to try at least 3 of your 5 things to fit into the story, but if its awkward and seems out of place then just get at least 1 or 2 in. You need one though, but the very manner you deliver the story may convey a lot about yourself.

Other ways to convey personality is to act out your characters. Bring them to life in your stories.

Another important aspect to expressing personality in your stories is by speeding up your voice during moments of excitement and slowing it down during more intense moments to create tension.

Speeding up, pauses, and slowing your voice down is hard for me to sow you through a newsletter, but when you recite your stories out loud you will gain a natural since of where each belongs and will improve through reactions with your audience.
You should always know how to build a tension to bring excitement to your audience so that they won't feeling a lack of resolution.

So now I am going to rewrite my story as it stands to convey my personality...

Me: "Hey guys...how do you deal with people when you just caaaaannt (exaggerated can't to show frustration with the situation and convey more personality) get them to leave you alone?!"

Group: "blah blah"

Me: "Yeah that's interesting so check this out...the other day I am at club voodoo and I walk in with a group of my friends and random people we met on the way (social) and there is a decent amount of people in the club, we are all having a great time (fun) and meeting lots of cool new people (social).

Well this one guy somehow works his into my "group" (putting finger quotes around it) and he just has this vibe. Like he is so out of place, he was walking around with a Harley Davison Motorcycle hat on and like this tainted banana colored polo (Painting this scene gets them laughing and displays humor and some understand of social norms and fashion.)

So my friends and I trying to walk away from him but he just won't back off, he would just follow us everywhere we went, buzzing around like a mosquito..(pause)..with a really bad taste in clothing (humor)...you would think he could get the hint when we were practically jogging away (act out slight jogging motion).

Eventually he finally goes away and we start to have a fun night again.

As you can see, the story starts to build up but it has no resolution, it just kind of ends.

So here is the last component of story.... “punch line”. A punch line is often used for humor and ties up the story. Its biggest importance is to let the audience know it's over. It can be one line or much more...

To have a successful delivery of punch line to your story, you need to create a dramatic build up by slowing down your words and then once the comic relief or resolution comes, you speed the conversation back up.

The punch line can be a small extension of the story to bring further resolution to the issue. This is where you can get creative and give some lamer stories a much cooler ending.

The actual ending to my story involves the creepy guy going into the bathroom, some guy that was annoyed by him jokingly bumping into him while the creepy was using the urinal, and the creepy guy pissed on the front of his pants, got embarrassed and left.

Now, first off, it was kind of rude on that one guy's part and I don't want to associate myself with friends like that. Also...a guy pissing on himself is an odd thing to share during the initial interaction.

So I am going to do a little story morphing by combining a similar, less gross incident that happened that night.

Nothing wrong if you change some incidents in your story what matters is it can be  more entertaining...after all...it's a "STORY"

So the updated story with the new punch line now goes:

Me: "Hey guys...how do you deal with people when you just caaaaannt get them to leave you alone?!"

Group: "blah blah"

Me: "Yeah that's interesting so check this out...the other day I am at Club Voodoo and I walk in with a group of my friends and random people we met on the way and there is a decent amount of people in the club, we are all having a great time and meeting lots of cool new people. Well this one guy somehow works his into my "group" and he just has this vibe. Like he is so out of place, he was walking around with a Harley Davison Motorcycle hat on and like this tainted banana colored polo. So my friends and I keep trying to avoid him but he just won't back down, he would just follow us everywhere we went, buzzing around like a mosquito...with a really bad taste in clothing...you would think he could get the hint when we were practically jogging away. Anyway...my friends and I get away from him and are on the top floor and we make a super tall pyramid out of energy drink cans. (Illustrate structure with arms). Then all of a sudden, the creepy guy weasels his way onto the floor and sits down at our table...and like a jackass he tries to add a can to the structure. (Start slowing things down for the punch line) Little did he know...that although the Red Bull on the top of the structure was opened...it was full...so this guy tries to add his can to the top then BAM!...................the whole structure falls right into his lap and the filled soda can pours all over his crotch! It looked like he wet his pants! His face turns beat red and he just runs downstairs and we assume he left the club cause we didn't see him again...I don't know what the big deal is...I thought it was hilarious! (Final punch line, they know the story is over)

You now have that three components to your stories and once you do it right way... plus got some great stuff on your hands. You will surely gonna have a great story.

HOWEVER....there is still a few more sprinkles that I want to add to your story and you will gonna use it someday.

These things are the secret little tips of successful storytelling.

The first and most important is creating check in points.

Check in points are mini questions you throw into your story throughout to make sure you have the audiences full attention. It gets them more involved.

Examples are "That ever happen to you?" "Don't you hate when that happens?" "You know what I mean?"

Just make sure they are not obvious and sounding like you are taking time out for them to go into detail about your check in point question.

Another good way to check in is to compare aspects of your story to the current situation you are in. ex. "Kind of like that over there" "Reminds me of her (point to person)."

You should at least have two check in points near the start and in the middle. If you are doing everything right, your audience will be captivated and waiting for the build up of the punch line so you won't need one near the end.

If you start to see someone looking away, throw one out to regain focus.

An example in a passage of my story would be:

"Like he is so out of place, he was walking around with a Harley Davison Motorcycle hat on and like this tainted banana colored polo. You know when someone is clearly just lost and not sure what he or she is doing....kind of like that guy over there (point to someone similar)."

For the check in points, You don't always need a full response, a nod will be fine simply showing that the audience have regain their focus to your story.

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I will be sharing with you today a very important and powerful subject when it comes to meeting and holding the interest of a women and anyone in your life.

This subject is no other than Storytelling and when used correctly, can make your desirability with women sky rocket.

But Before I jump into the tips and secrets behind successful story telling. I want to clear up a few myths when it comes to the matter of story telling.

Myth one: My stories have to be true and about me.

Now this is ultimately up for you to decide but as long as you keep the conversation fun, apply the right story telling techniques, and can keep the conversation moving, then your story does not have to be true.

Even if the women knows that the story is true, if you kept it fun, she will be entertained and most likely run with new conversation topics developed from your stories.

I am not encouraging you to lie though, the most powerful stories are ones that are true and come from a place of emotion.

You can be so over the top with stories where the unbelievably becomes so fun that she gets involved and becomes part of a newly painted reality that you and the girl get to share and more importantly create together. (This becomes a key factor in "Role Playing" and by mastering storytelling, your creativity in "Role Play Conversations" raises but sadly, the subject of role playing will have to be saved for a later issue.)

However I think the biggest misconception is not whether the stories have to be true, but is more about whether or not they have to be about the story teller.

One of the main goals of story telling is to communicate to the listener about you. Surprisingly, it is easier to convey things about yourself by HOW you tell a story, not the actual content of it.

Through the power of expressions, energy, and vivid language, you can convey to your listeners such things as, dominance, humor, interests, and over all personality.

When applying the proper techniques of a story, you should be able to repeat what you heard on the news but in such a fashion that directly makes you more interesting and displays your personality.

Myth Two: As you get better with women you become less dependent on story telling.

Now there is some truth to this myth in the sense that you do not go into interactions with pre-scripted stories as much as you may starting out. However, it is through the skills that storytelling develops that make you less dependent.

Instead of going into in interaction with a story you have made up or written down and rehearsed, you are able to share any subject in an interesting fashion that makes people listen.

This skill is enhanced by applying the arts of storytelling and is one of the key reasons learning and mastering storytelling is a great way to improve not only your skills with women, but your overall social skills.

What is storytelling  > > >

Storytelling is the direct means of communication when highlighting important parts of your life to the listener. Not only through context, but through delivery.

Why is storytelling important > > >

Storytelling plays a very important part in getting to know someone and the great thing about telling a story, is that it creates so many other subject matters to talk about and that a story is almost always followed by another story.

There are many reasons storytelling is important and if you are not currently utilizing storytelling then consider these following facts:

* Storytelling is a great way to save dying conversations

This is one of the most common problems that I see with many guys. An interaction will be going great, then conversation starts to die and there is that awkward silence. This is a great time to bust out a story from your arsenal and revive the interaction.

Knowing you are armed with a story creates more approach confidence when entering an interaction.

People are afraid to enter interactions because of the fear of running out of things to say. By developing a great story or two and keeping them in your back pocket for when you need them creates a great since of confidence during the initial approach and can really help limit the anxiety that one gets when approaching a beautiful women. You are guaranteed that the interaction will last at least the length of your story.

* Storytelling is a great way to display dominance

When you are telling a story the right way, all eyes are on you, you are the center of attention, and everyone lingers off your next word. Holding the attention of the group through storytelling puts you in a dominant frame of you being the leader of the interaction and everyone else being the listener, waiting to see where you take the group next.

* Storytelling develops stronger social skills

This is one of the biggest reasons that I like to make sure everyone masters storytelling. Through storytelling you learn to capture the entire attention of the group. Also you directly convey your personality and it gets you accustomed to doing so. The skills that are developed from strong storytelling directly carry over into your social personality that make all conversation with you more exciting and vivid. The expressiveness you show in stories ties into your future interactions and directly improves your social personality.

* You can convey things through storytelling that you normally could not say.

There may be some interesting details of your life that said outside the context of a story may come off as bragging. But in a story, these little details are never the subject of the story thus they remain subtle but are powerful when displaying aspects of your identity.

What you convey through your stories is how you will be remembered.

Unlike most things you say during an interaction, a good story is unforgettable. How many times have you had someone tell you about some crazy story that one of their friends told them? Stories have been passed down for ages; it is an old custom and still exists till this day. The girl should be able to look back on the interaction and be like "Oh yeah, that was the guy who (did whatever interesting activity that relates to you)."

Now that you have an idea of why storytelling is so effective and what you should be aiming for when telling a story. We are going to work on creating your very own powerful stories that cannot be neglect. All this will be covered in Part II of this newsletter, but there is an exercise I want you to do right now so you can directly apply all the tips and tactics to create an amazing story.

Exercise 1: Write down anywhere from seven to ten moments in your life that you feel changed or defined who you are.

Ideas: Vacations, Life/Death Experiences, an unforgettable concert or sporting event, a moment you succeeded, something funny that happened to you or a friend.

This can be happy, fun, or even sad (not depressing) but we do learn through negative experiences. We will eventually cut these down to just a couple stories in Part II but for now I just want you to get into the habit of taking note of interesting experiences in your life.

If you have a funny story then that is just a humorous time then feel free to include that. But even if the story does not seem major yet entertaining, the fact that you can remember it means it has a bigger effect than you realize.

I have already anticipated that there are going to be people that would say they have no interesting stories. This is absolutely not the true; everyone has something interesting that has shaped who they are. Don't be modest; even if it's a silly story write it down. You can't be afraid to share a story, sometimes they are hard to think of and if you really can't think of a past story, starting paying more attention to your every day life. And if you still can’t think of one then go take a vacation, you will return with hundreds of them.

So many things happen in one day that people don't even think would be a story. But every past event being told is a story. There is no excuse not to have one.

Exercise Two: Write down at least 5 things that you would like people to know about you.

Ideas: Hobbies, Sports you play, instruments you play, your job, your goals, your skills and achievements.

This is going to tie into personality conveying. Think of the things that you would like any friend or new acquaintance to know about you. These are the things that directly relate to your identity and make you who you are. Do not be surprised if these things are directly related in some way to the stories you wrote down in exercise one.

Now save this list, we are going to use it a lot in Part II of this newsletter to construct a powerful stories that you can always rely on. Also I will further go into the skills of storytelling and how to use them to make every story and conversation more interesting.

I am going to do this very exercise along with you guys so you will get to see my story end product as well.

So, just keep an eye for the next letter and get ready to really take storytelling to the on the action.

Have you avoided approaching a girl just because she is
talking to another guy?

Or maybe you avoided approaching a group of girls with one
or two guys with them because you feared embarrassment just
because you ASSUMED that those guys were cooler than you.

There are a couple of reasons why most guys are too shy in
approaching women who are with other guys.

They think that the woman is "with" the guy, and assume he's
her boyfriend.

This isn't a real reason to not talk to a woman, especially
in a bar - it's a social setting where people meet other
people. Plus - she's not his "slave" - she's a human being,
not a piece of property, so she is free to talk to whomever
she chooses.

Approaching a woman who is "with" a guy often will make you
look extremely confident, and draw out his jealous side,
making him look insecure and weak.

The second reason why guys don't approach woman who is
"with" a guy points to a deep insecurity based on a simple
misconception.

Men tend to be threatened by other men, they assumed that
the "other guy" is more cooler, stronger, or somehow
powerful than they are.

This comes from an ancient survival strategy that had been
fixed into human brain.

It's often hard to tell who the more "dominant" human is in
any given interaction. The social hierarchy is very subtle,
and mostly unconscious. So when a male is confronted by
another male, he doesn't know how dominant the other guy is.

A guy doesn't know if he will be embarrassed verbally, or as
was probably common thousands of years ago, beaten up.

So it's smart to play it safe by assuming that the other guy
is a threat. Males who were too bold may have won a few
confrontations, but all it took was one loss to end up dead
or exiled from the tribe.

And then their genes were eliminated from "race" so to
speak.

So the guys who played it safe, and avoided confrontation
usually lived long enough to reproduce and survive.

The irony of this is that nowadays this hard-wired survival
strategy is the basis for most approach anxiety - guys avoid
women unnecessarily because they are making false
assumptions.

Here is the thing, mostly when you see a girl talking to
another guy in the club or bar, she's not WITH him.

Usually, they JUST MET!

I can't tell you how many exact times I have approached a
woman that is being with a guy that I thought he was "with"
that guy or say a boyfriend, then only to find out that it
was just a dude that approached her. Or he was just a friend
or relative.

I have regrets when I remember that I used to completely not
talking to a woman because I saw her being with another guy.
So many opportunities that I've wasted. This brings me to my
first point:

YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT HE MEANS TO HER. DON'T ASSUME THEY ARE
TOGETHER UNTIL YOU SEE PHYSICAL EVIDENCE.

You will know it if you try to act and find out. Just
remember that in time that they are together you should be
alert an respectful, the guy may be the insecure jealous
type and may start a confrontation.

So use your brain - just don't be stagnant in making a false
assumptions. 

Another thing that I want to talk about is the idea that the
other guy can be more "dominant" than you are.

The concept of the alpha male is completely outdated. In the
caveman days, the alpha male had real power - he had access
to resources like food, and was physically stronger, so he
could beat up competitors.

But ask yourself if those powers are relevant today. Every
man with a source of income can survive on his own - if
you're reading this, you probably have access to food and
shelter. You're all set.

Plus, in this modern world it is irrelevant to use the
physical strength just to beat people up. It's illegal.

Attacking another person will always end you up defeated
because the police always win.

You are LETTING RANDOM GUYS STOP YOU FOR NO REASON! if you
are thinking about it.

Just excuse my French, but who is HE to say who YOU talk
to???

I recall all the girls I missed out on because I was afraid
about some DUDE. And it makes me mad remembering that and
knowing that the other guys are dealing with some crap!

You are going to look back on all the things you did and
didn't do, when the time comes that you're on your deathbed.
How painful it is to say "I haven't approached that girl
because I was scared of another guy," or "I could have
enjoyed being with so many beautiful women if only I have
approached them even if they were TALKING to another guy."

I don't want you to be like that.

So let's analyze it deeply. You truly don't understand
dominance if you are seeing the other guy as more dominant.

You see, if you're concerned with who is more dominant you
instantly make yourself NOT dominant. There's a better
focus.

Dominant men don't think about who is dominant. To be
dominant, you must first THINK like a dominant man. So what
do dominant men think about? Whatever it is they are doing
or want.

So you see another guy talking to a group of girls. Instead
of worrying about whether or not he's more dominant than
you, focus on the girls.

It's proven to be a waste of time if I have to acknowledge
other guys. Out of 10 women, 9 of them doesn't even know the
guy - they just meet him.

Or if they do, maybe ONE of the girls know him, and barely
the rest know him.

It's seldom for women to go out with a guy they are dating -
normally they will bring a guy that is more of a
protector/friend because a guy like that is more valuable
when they go out on the town.

And also, if that guy IS with one of the girls, that means
he's NOT with the other girls - they are fair game.

When you are concerned with who's the alpha male, you are by
definition NOT the alpha male. In fact, it's questionable
whether alpha males truly exist in the modern world.

Have your focus in a USEFUL place and don't assume anything.
And don't let some random guy prevent you from enjoying YOUR
LIFE!